How To Fight Off A Zombie Invasion Jan 22, 20:48
Once I got my head start, I would quickly find a very old Volvo to hot wire. For two reasons. One, my current Toyota Corolla is a piece of shit (no offense to those of you who drive Corollas, really) and wouldn’t last long against vicious animals who won’t die. Two, old Volvos are made of metal, so if I were ever to run into a flesh eating beast, I’d be able to run them over and crash into a building without hurting myself too much. I still don’t know where I’d learn how to hot wire a car, but this is all hypothetical anyway.
Resident Evil Done My Way
Sarai’s got a few good ideas on how to fight off a zombie invasion, but she’s most definitely not the master (that would be me). So I’m going to share with you the best way to fight off a zombie invasion. To start out all you need is a crowbar and an HEV Suit (or a Bear Buster).
First off I’d find myself a nice crowbar. Preferably red. A pipe might do, but I wouldn’t count on it. Why a crowbar? Unlike machine guns it never runs out of ammo, and really all you have to do is get close enough to gouge it into the zombies heads (that’s how you kill all zombies). I favor the back and forth attack, that’s where you run at the zombie with your crowbar held high, hack away as quickly as you can then run back really fast. Rinse and repeat. This really works best on a regular zombie, if it’s a special breed of zombie (Zombine, Fast Zombie or a Poison Zombie) then you might run into some difficulties. If you’re in your HEV suit it probably won’t be too bad, but if you’re just wandering around in your civilian clothes then just run.
As good as the crowbar is, if you’re surrounded by zombies it probably won’t work. You’ll need yourself a nice shotgun1, one shot to the head of the zombie and boom. Zombie brain wallpaper. It’s slow to reload, though, so if you’re not a quick person then you might prefer a submachine gun of some sort. If you can get your hands on it then a .357 Magnum is an amazing gun that no zombie fighter should be without.
Now I’m building myself an HEV Suit to protect myself from the zombies, radioactive waste and various other alien life forms. If you don’t have an HEV suit handy then you’re screwed. You might be able to throw something together that will provide some protection (like the Bear Buster, pictured to the left as modeled by Homer Simpson), but it probably will let you down. I recommend you start building your HEV Suit now before any trouble comes your way. You’ll be glad you did!
I haven’t really planned anything beyond kicking ass and chewing bubblegum, because really you know if there’s an alien invasion that a bunch of evil soldiers will take over the world and kick everyone around. At least until some geek in an HEV suit comes around to kick some alien booty. They’ll also kill people, enslave them, torture them, kiss the alien booty that will later be kicked by some geek and in general just make shit tough for everyone. Oh and they won’t let you reproduce (which may or may not mean sex, I’m not sure).
If you’re up against those guys then you definitely need a shotgun or a submachine gun. The crowbar will not work. A gravity gun is really handy because there’s always lots of flaming barrels, gas cans and other flammable material laying around waiting to be exploded (preferably on some combine soldier).
1 All weapons mentioned here, with the exception of the pipe, can be seen on Half-Life 2 Weapons.
Hi I'm Becky, often referred to as The Knitting Hillbilly and Pussybear, owner of this site and general nuisance. I'm a knitter, serial complainer, known whistle blower and I run the ever popular